Jun 13th - The night i dread the most.

On the eve of the 2nd anniversary of my dearest beloved grandmother, my sweet sweet ajji's attainment of his lotus feet, I am composing this post in remembrance of her.

I miss her warm hug, her gentle touch on my forehead before I would leave home, her kiss on my cheek when i did something that made her happy, her showering of blessings, gifts, praises , her deep understanding of the human mind, her simple love for sweets and most of all her unconditional love for me and Neethu.

I really miss you a lot Ajji, wish you were here to bless me and hug me during these days of triumphs and travails. I wish you were here to give me all your worldly advice, tell me all your secrets and hear all of mine, debate till the sun went down and listen to stories of years gone by. I wish you were here to relish my chapatis which dad claims are just like yours. It is such a pity I din't make them while you were around. I wish you were here to see the little naughty girl neethu all grown up now. I wish you were here..

But you know what, as much as I miss your physical presence, I always know that you are watching over me and turning the little cosmic dials in my favor. I know you are blessing me and showering only the best wishes my way. I know that the lessons you have left behind, all the stories you have told me, all the values you have taught me will always keep a part of you alive in me.

Please continue to be my inspiration and my moral compass. please guide me to be the best I can and always earn lots of hugs and kisses from you. We all love you immensely and can only hope to live by the example you set for us..

Om.

In the pursuit of happiness.

Everyday life is transformed into a continual celebration for a person who is always finding joys in the little things of life. Little things like gardening, cooking, reading and gifting.

Ajji would wait all month to get her paycheck, only to spend it all in a few days. Till the time grandpa was working, Ajji had taken it upon herself to indulge her kids in all the good things she could get her hands on. She put in her heart and soul into her work each day but on pay day, it was time to paint the town red.

Being a social worker at a voluntary organization, at times Ajji would receive her salary once in 3 or 4 months. They would get paid when the related government body would get a grant to fund them. Until the time that she was not the sole earning member of the family, she ensured that her paycheck went toward the fun quotient budget of the family. Ajji splurged on all the good things that she could get accustomed to. She was never fond of jewelery or fancy clothing. She would spend on eating out, cooking and sharing with the neighbors, watching movies and buying books.

Ajji loved taking her kids to dine out and watch good movies. She recalls the fun they had when the went to watch Mackenna's gold. The movie was the rage of the times and was a must watch according to the newspapers. Unfortunately, the movie had not hit the talkies in Mysore yet. So much was her enthusiasm to watch it with her family that she took her 3 kids all the way to Bangalore from Mysore just to watch the new movie! At times when she had to get to work and the kids had to be taken out for a fun evening, she would drop them at the cinema hall, buy them food and return after the show to pick them up.

Food Feast

Stating that Ajji despises fast food does not even scratch the surface of her food likes. She has been a foodie probably even before the word was coined. Ajji loves cooking and she has never been accustomed to cooking in moderation. She always cooks like she were cooking at a community kitchen. Her giant heart of gold loves feeding people and continues to do so.

Ajji loves elaborately cooked dishes, regional specialties, something she learnt form a friend or read in a book. It is only the potato wafers and aerated drinks that she against. When it come to home cooked meals, nothing less than pure ghee, butter and refined oil will do.

Ajji also loves eating out. especially Indian food. She loves the baturas , choley and butter naans with paneer and ice cream for dessert. Ajji recounts many times that back in the days ice cream vendors would always serve a sweet biscuit wafer to be eaten after the icecream. The wafer would bring relief to the cold-numb mouth after the ice cream. Unfortunately this is not the norm these days. For the benefit of her health, she has curtailed eating all this now, but given a chance she still has an appetite of a kid in a candy store.

Food first.

My grandmother has an intensely ingrained contempt for Fast-Food and cringes at its very sight or mention.
She can talk for hours about how people today have given up what is wholesome for a quick fix, even as I sit in front of her fantasizing about deep dish pizzas.
While she disagrees with my unhealthy and often unexciting culinary taste, her beginnings in the cooking world were quite stirring.

Being the oldest of the house and attending to work outside home, she had received little knowledge about cooking from her mother. This was before she got married at 13.
In her new home, she was never required to lift a ladle or keep the kettle. Her mother-in-law took care of all the cooking. Her brothers-in-law and her husband in particular ignored most of this cooking and choose to eat out instead.
Astonished at this and armed with a purpose, my she set out to reverse the trend.

Close to the house of a friend that she often visited, was Ram Krishna Asharam. she was well acquainted with the cook there who offered her something to eat whenever she visited. she traded these meals for cooking lessons from the expert.
That's where she started her learning. After perfecting her skill in the ashram's kitchen, she began displaying her new acquired culinary skills at home. Surely enough her husband gave up going to hotels.
" I won his heart with my cooking" she still proudly proclaims with a glint in her eye.

Wedding bells.

sharada at a tender teenage age to Govinda Rao, in 1945. He was a railways employee and a family friend. She consented to the proposal that was kept before her, based solely on a promise made by the groom. No no, not jewelery or real estate but the chance to pursue her studies. She still recounts her thoughts from back then when she had no clue what marriage was and yet got into it willingly only because her husband to be, offered to support her further studies. Such was her dedication towards studies. At a time when SSLC meant 'Stop studying learn cooking' for her friends, she had her mind set on getting a good education and continuing her pursuit of knowledge. Her friends would kindle a joke or two in mirth about being married and yet going to school, but that never stopped her from continuing her studies.

It was in the first year of her marriage that she completed her Class 9. As a young bride, she was very concerned not to let her studies jeopardize her duties at home. She would finish all her homework and studies at college itself, lest her in-laws complain that she was escaping form household duties.

Treading the road less taken.

A brief encounter with her Idol.

As a young girl, all of 5 Sharada encountered a man who mesmerized her with his speech and in conversation, asked her for the pair of bangles she was adorning. When he asked “Maa ko in ki zaroorat hain beta. Kya ye kangan tum desh ke liye de sakti ho? ”, without as much as batting an eyelash, she took those bangles off and handed them to him.

The man she gave her bangles away too was no stranger to her or her family. It was the man whose teachings had inspired her dad and instilled the feeling of selflessness in that little 5 year old. It was the man who later went on to become a Mahatma. It was Gandhiji she met, while he was on tour and was visiting the southern provinces at that time. Sharada's father wanted to give some items to him when he visited mysore, but was touring on business at that time. Her father requested his wife to hand them over in person to Gandhiji and that's when little sharada was taken along to meet Gandhiji.

That incident made Sharada stronger and gave her more conviction for the years soon to come as witnessed him lead India to freedom. she is a witness to a great chapter in our history. She has witnessed what we now have and was once fought for, tooth and nail.
She has modelled her life on his teachings and has passed them on to her children who continue to do the same.

Her Childhood.

Her childhood, punctuated with chores and responsibility of her siblings, was the cornerstone to her hardworking and affable nature. With a penchant for studies, she would look forward to traveling by train everyday from Yellur, where her family resided to her school in Mandya.

One evening, the chat with the teachers after class got prolonged more than expected and unfortunately, she missed her train back home. With no other way out, she started walking along the railway track all by herself. She took off on a brave front, but then started getting the shivers once it began getting dark. There was hardly any light outside the taluk those days. Thankfully, a cart wheel driver passing by recognized her as bambai-sahib’s daughter and offered a ride back to Yellur. She was greeted at home by her dad roaming the streets near the station with his gas light looking for his daughter.

A Humble beginning always leads to an intellectual zenith.

Her unrestricted persona bears deep roots in her upbringing. She was born in Mysore and brought up in a conservative milieu in Yellur, near Mandya, Karnataka.
‘Sharada’ her parents named her and she has remained true to the meaning of her name.
Her dad, was an optician by profession and a staunch follower of Gandhiji in belief. He travelled extensively on business covering the length and breadth of the India then.

Her first family consisted of her Mother who was originally from Andhra, her dad who hailed from saurashtra but left it and moved further south to make a living; a brother and a sister. As the oldest child at home, she had to step up and attend to all the business in the house. She had mails to send, registered posts to receive on her dad’s behalf, cash to send via money order and run errands for her mother. All of this needed to be accomplished on her way to school and back.

She recounts an incident when one of her classmates , tired of seeing her work so hard, wanted to show that doing that sort of work was not all that it was cracked up to be. She thought sending a money order was no big deal, walked up to the post office and nonchalantly, dropped Sharada’s cash along with the money order form into the letter box and assumed that was all! The teachers at school frowned upon that girl, while the others laughed it out.

Having been entrusted with all duties of an office boy, she knew it was no laughing matter. She was familiar with all the post office staff; after all, she paid them a visit every day. Her dad kept an eye on her through his post office friends to ensure she dint go playing around and shirking her responsibilities. Frightened and traumatized by the wrath she would have to put up with if her dad ever came to know of this, she decided she had to fix her friend’s folly. She stayed put that day until the postmaster came and she pleaded with him until he opened the box, reprimanded the little girl and returned the cash - all of ten rupees. Of course, asking that young lady to learn a little something from Sharada.

I call her my friend because there is always an inexplicable bond of friendship between a granddaughter and a grandmother. The fights, the arguments and the funny conversations never cease to amaze me. The way that she grasps the goings on in my life, the way only I (and not even my parents sometimes) can understand few of her musings and the synchrony that we can tune into is completely unique. This is the bond that has provided me with immense learning.

My earliest memories of her are that of her returning form work with a bag full of gifts. Each month like clockwork, she would get me and my sister some new toy in the block, or new clothes. It was a routine she had of never coming home empty handed. Each day there would be some sweets or savories for us in her bag when she returned form work. Me and my childhood playmate Karthik would welcome her at our gate with a salute. It was probably something we had learnt in school and wanted to try out at home.

Speaking of toys, she had her eyes set on getting us a train thingy that went up down zig zag in a fascinating manner. It ran on batteries and had an entire train journey from tunnels to bridges and stations to mountains. I recall it as it was on show at a famous toy store in Mysore back then called ‘Tip-Top’ on Sayaji Rao Road. Somehow we never got around to it. I guess she retired by the time I got that train. Instead, she went on to buy me a bicycle even before i asked for it.

She loves buying stuff for family. she adores it and till today despite all the changes in our lives, that is the one thing she continues to do. As her kids, we enjoy it too! she loves spending to the point that she is often accused of being a spendthrift. She has her little cute idosyncrasies. For instance, I'd never understand the logic behind sorting coins based on their denominations and keeping them in different parts of her little coin purse. She has a fascination for crisp new notes. Sometimes I think she spends money at times just to get rid of the crumpled greasy ones.

But till today she has stayed the same. Her habits may have changed, lifestyle varied but deep down she is still the same person she was when she walked home with gifts for me and neetsy.

Sharada- a symbol of strength and determination.

I now begin to share some endearing stories and learnings that have been passed down to me from my grandmother- Sharada G Shinde. She still continues to do so and I am very grateful for that. In doing this, I am also going to talk about her, her life and the inspiring person she is.

Cheers to ajji!

There is not a single spiritual tangle that the Geetha cannot unravel.
Derive fresh joy and meanings from it each time you read it.
- these are her thoughts on what Mahatma Gandhi had said.

Lessons from my dear friend.

The strength of will power.

If you are having a hot cup of coffee in the open and burn your hands from the heat, there is a high probability that you will drop the damn glass muttering a curse under your breath.

If you are having a cup of hot tea in the most expensive china sitting at marble table over the most exquisite oriental rug, it is highly unlikely that you will drop the glass or mutter under your breath.

No price for advice.

An interesting advertisement of a leading telecom company has got me thinking that 'advise to har koi karta hain yaar'.
Most of the time this is useless advice by virtue of it being either unwarranted, or coming too late. It is just not over there.
You have hell to pay when you have to face the person whose advice you did not pay heed to.

A predicament I faced recently had to do with some advice that I received from someone who had a self-conferred authority.
Just the other day, I was stuck in traffic on a narrow yet two way traffic road. All vehicles were making a criss cross on the road as if forming a complicated puzzle and speaking the language of honks, while the drivers uttered abuses. After all, everyone is in a hurry in our country. So while I was waiting behind a car, a rickshaw driver steers his auto on to my right and starts showering me with advice. He was hell bent on making me take a deviation and get moving.
How did he want me to do that? By performing the remarkable feat of climbing up the pedestrian sidewalk and riding my 100cc two wheeler on it.

Why? Simply because he felt like advising me. Neither was I in a hurry, nor was I in any mood for a automobile gymnastic feat. I was not even in front of him,
My treading the platform on my bike along with my pillion rider would in no way hinder or benefit him or anything on the road. Yet, he was determined to get me over the footpath!

It was not one of those edges where the platform boundaries form a slide like at building entrances. This is usually where two wheeler drivers hop onto the sidewalk and start driving on them. The place I was waiting was not one of those places, it was one where the platform was at steep height of a good 15 cm steep height from the road. It is bad enough that some dumb people ride their bikes on it at their own risk, as per their will, but why force someone else to do the same? It is dangerous, unwanted and do not even get me started on the legal aspect. But no, my advisor was determined.

First it started with general a mention that I should go on the foot path, then it became a request. Before I could comprehend the absurdity that he was expecting of me, it had turned into a command and I was ordered to do what his over-ambitions mind was dictating. I did what I do best in these situations- ignore unwarranted detractions. The consequence of that was just round the corner - sour grapes dove in. His comments did not stop at my ignorance. It turned to innuendoes 'Ah forget it, you can't do it, You're not capable of that! Bah'
Sheeesh.
I had half a mind to turn around and ask him what his real problem was? Was he running short on his 'advise strangers' target for the day? Was he a lonely insomniac who drove around advising people? Would he not sleep at night if i do not climb the platform? Or is he just one of those people who fulfill their whims and fancies by asking others to do it....
I'll never know, cos i never asked. But what i do know is that there is no end to free advice.

High heels- the metaphor.
When women got out of the kitchen, they traded the ladle for high heels. it was time to move on and they would not move on to anything less powerful. The ladle symbolises the control that they had over the house. The ladle is not a mere object of utility but one that unites women worldwide in their triumph over maintaining adn sustaining the household for centuries. Once they left the kitchen, they picked high heels as a symbol of independance and a dignified stance. It was meant to say 'despite treading on something that looks dangerous, i am totally in control of my life'. This is the dictum that most powerful women live their lives by.

Traffic- the game
A lot of people speak of the wonderful animation games that they play on different computers. Large conglomerates spend a considerable amount of time and money trying to better the gaming products currently in the market.

BUT, I can cay with utmost certainty that the game that i get to play day after day is among the best games ever created. It is a game with the best 3-D effects ever. The game is created by us, but the almighty gives the effects. This game requires some warranty seals, some papers saying you are willing to play it . A government regulatory body has to certifies that you are capable of playing it. To play the game, you have to abide by its rules and if you break any of them, there might be hell to pay. Start off with wearing your safety equipment from headgear to rear gear. Once you are all strapped up, you are ready to go.

You can go anywhere that you wish to be transported to, You can choose any means of transportation, but rest assured that the ride will be eventful regardless of what means of transportation you choose. Start be hitting the accelerator and use the brakes to stop. use the horn whenever you feel like whether there is a necessity or not. Slow down at trafffic signals once you spot a yellow light, stop on red and start again on green. Take the shortest and fastest distance from one point to another.

Things to watch out for.
*Honking: The horn sounds mean so many different things, all in one sound. It can me - 'give me way', it can mean 'get out of my way', it can even mean 'do not backfire', , it can mean 'move front', it can mean 'move to the side', it can mean 'emergency'- It is a language in itself and it is quite common for a novice to get misled and lost in this language.
*Pedestrians: These are the players who play the game, but without any automobile.They seldom walk on the paths made for them and have the desire to run across the streets as when they like.
*Cows/bulls/Dogs-Lesser said the better because we worship the first one and the last one is man's best friend.

Occasionally the game gets hard when the skies start pouring down water. This release version is called 'traffic in the rain'. This is a real challenge and is not meant for the week hearted. A more advanced version with more difficulty is available and is called 'traffic -after the rain'

Initially it is a bit jittery, You break too hard, sometimes you go too close to other players, but soon enough, it will make you a regular and before you know it, you'll be enjoying this game. After all, we've made it for ourself, haven't we?

relax..
breathe..
I have heard people use this phrase 'relax,breathe' often. I have used it casually, many times too.
Just as a cursory thing, like its essence is in merely saying it. never once , before this week have i ecperienced what the phrase entails. It really means sit, forget everything and i mean everything and only focus on breathing. Yes, that thing we do every living moment of every living day, that.
just doing a deep breathe-in breathe-out makes me realize how complex and elaborate the action is and how deep its consequences are. we just take it for granted in our obnoxious ways and belittle the importance of a breath.

A sense of detachment, a feeling of independence, a breath of fresh air! a secret smile, a sense of pride at having mysteriously conquered your biggest pressures and the yearning for more...
strange as it sounds thats the state of mind and what else it brings with it is something none is preparred for.

Bright sun, broad streets, well laid transportation system, beautiful mountains bordering the city.. these are few of the things that i had gotten so used to for about 3 weeks in the beautiful city hangzhou. Eating at 7,11 and 5, the clickety click of the chopsticks, the extremely fulfilling shopping, the numerous yet each distinct from the other skyscrapers are among the hoards of things i miss most about China.

I stepped into China with lots of stereotypes about the food, the people and most importantly the language barrier. After about 2 days in hangzhou i realised i was being unreasonable and put all those predetermined thoughts behind me. The city is a delight, the people are uninterfering and the atmosphere is ont that'll make you fall in love with it.

The first week was the toughest, but then instead of brooding over the differences, i began basking in acceptance of them. That Made things so much easier.
time for lunch, suspend work and go eat:ok!
not hungry but still have to eat, cos dining halls will close:ok!
time for rest after that:ok!
there's a little meat with most vegetables:ok!
there are green beans in icecream:ok!
roads follow 'keep right' system:ok!
cars are lefthand driven:ok!
have porridge with chopsticks:ok!
work on chinese windows:ok!


I am not complaining about any of these, it was an absolute pleasure and i have no hangups about any of these.

Problem is, i miss all of that now! i miss it so much

Returned to india on 26sep!

With a heavy heart I left the beautiful country that I had gotten so used to.
Eating with chopsticks, finishing supper at 6 30pm, getting accustomed to the chinese transportation system, communicating with keywords that i learnt for survival, living on a budget, shopping with chinese symbols for numbers with one hand.... i could go on and on.....
Beginning my day with ni hao with the generous use of 'xiexie' during the rest of the day.

I am going to miss all of this and much much more....

some memories do not fade,
some faces are hard to forget,
some newly learnt habits refuse to leave,
I am glad that is the way it is, because I wish to keep every ounce of my trip to china in my heart forever.

I set out to china with a few apprehensions, a few stereotypes and a few misconceptions. It turned out that I had no clue about what was in store for me. It has been a life changing trip for me in ways that I find hard to express.
I can say that I am better person having gone through the one month in China.

I express my sincere gratitude to Dr Bill Melton for the wonderful positive change he has brought in so many lives and i count myself among them.
I thank the Proj.Culture granting commitee for making this possible me.
Also extending my heartfelt gratitude to Henry and his wonderful family with whom I stayed during my internship in China.
Thanks to my dear friends in ZU, Jerry(who i couldnt meet), jane, kevin,Rose and Benjamin who were of great assistance during my internship period.

Finally, I thank my parents for all their support and encouragement.

climbing the mountains around the lake with henry's dad

i am not a huge nature freak. As in, the beautiful sky, peaceful waters,wind in my face and the sun on my brow make me fell good and hold a sense of beauty. But, not in a way thast i ll take up espeditions every weekend in the countryside or learn river rafting for the ultimate high in life.

Having established my nature related inclinations, i was not very thrilled with henry knocking on my door one morning asking me to get ready in 5 minutes to proceed to climb the mountains around the west lake. henry's dad , henry and i set out on a scaringly hot morning seemingly, to climb the mountains.

i had prepared myself for a trek kind of climb in the sweltering heat, and i was not wrong!
there were stairs leading to the top, and Henry's dad chose the more adventurous, non staired, non-laid path. WOW! lucky me!
first, all i could do is look at my watch at contemplate how long it would take for us to get over with this ordeal. This went on for a while, after which i was overcome with acute discomfort.. but why? oh wait it was because of my 8 kg backpack! having run out of tissues in the first 15 min, sun-screen all wiped out with the sweat, pain in every possible way i could and just when i was about to give up... i heard some weird chirping sounds. they were really unique and ones i had never heard before. Some were long, some furtive but continual, some piercingly prolonged.....
With minimal effort, i came across a seating area amid the trees. there were some stone carved chairs and about 20-30 elderly men and women sitting around on those seats. All of them with a colorful cage infront of them. The chirpings i heard were from their birds and this was a routine these elderly people carried out almost everyday. Climb the mountain with the pet bird and leave it there with other caged birds for singing practice!
isnt that the cutest thing! it was so cute watching the whole affair.. the oldies chit chatting, birds haveing a secrest musical conversation of their own, the sun rays making its way through the canopy of trees, ah, it was a delight!
Oh wait a minute, arent we forgetting something? a certain Mr pain and his wife Mrs discomfort? voila! they were both gone! just like that. i just needed a diversion(and someone to carry my bag!)
By now i had begun taking in the scenery, the beautiful view of the mountain, the glittery water of the west lake it was all coming together.

There was an army boot camp kind of gathering i chanced upon too. turned out to be a singing practice class for young singers. All screaming their lungs out...

by the time i got up, i was exhausted but the feeling of being up there just engulfs and destroys any fatigue..
It was amazing!
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